you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she pinky promised me she was 18
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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