to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
