the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
