what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
