His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize