That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
