it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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