these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize