im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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