if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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