you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize