32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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