I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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