pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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