Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
