Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
