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why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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