It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
