i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
