She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
