You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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