I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
