New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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