I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
