Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Too much gin, very little bucket
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
