The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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