Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
