Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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