Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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