Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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