So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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