We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
