I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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