So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
