1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
