tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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