Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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