Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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