I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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