I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
