i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
