No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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