If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
