this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
