i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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