Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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