I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
