Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
