idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
