she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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