you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
