butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
