Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize