i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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