OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
