at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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