Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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