nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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