Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
