haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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