the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
