You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize