I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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