I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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